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This book is a guide to surviving your own expectations. Learning to overcome overwhelm, balance busy lives, believe in your own abilities, and understand how to be amazing - just as you are.
The Super Woman Survival Guide is not about changing who you are, it is about changing the way you think about who you are. Freeing yourself from the pursuit of a superwoman ideal that is unrealistic and is making so many women unhappy.
This sense of not measuring up, the need to do more and be more, keeps women constantly striving for something that will always be out of reach - it exists only in the movies. It is what Stuart refers to as the superwoman complex.
Stuart demonstrates how to master the art of self-belief and to minimise the negative self-talk that is holding you back. Understanding your superpowers and how to use them is the way to gain the confidence to succeed exactly as you are.
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Some years ago, I had the opportunity to work with Maggie Dent in a local girls' secondary school. She spent a full week with the whole staff and student body, teaching empowerment skills and ways to maximise each individual's potential. What struck me then was her enthusiasm for her subject matter and her insistence that everyone is priceless in her (or his) own way; I have never forgotten this. So I approached Jess Stuart's book in the expectation that the message would be similar, and was gratified to find that this was so.
Right from the start, Stuart emphasizes that uniqueness is an advantage, not the drawback that most people think it is. Her argument is that people are too hard on themselves, setting unreal expectations and feeling that they are failures when they do not meet them. She highlights the importance of recognising the things that have been accomplished rather than those that remain unfinished or not even attempted. In taking stock of your achievements, it is appropriate to celebrate them and to believe in yourself. As part of this personal affirmation, Stuart describes her own journey, highlighting the steps she worked through to achieve a sense of satisfaction in the path she has followed. She also states that enjoying the journey is vital, even though it may never end; living is a continuum, not a finite event.
Resilience is a key element in Stuart's survival toolbox. In outlining the ways to increase resilience, Stuart puts failure at the top of the list - because failure is the way to success! Every time something goes belly up. there is a greater chance that the next time might result in success because lessons have been learned on the way. It is a win-win for Stuart; pride and satisfaction come from doing something right, but they also come indirectly from failure as a further step on the path to eventual success.
One thing I liked about the book was the writing style - it is unpretentious and chatty, and presented in a way that makes it accessible to women of different backgrounds and ages. Some self-help books are unnecessarily complicated; this defeats the purpose as a person who is already busy does not have the time to wade through a lot of redundant information. What is needed is information and advice that is direct and uncluttered, and in this respect The Super Woman is highly effective.
There are several sections, each devoted to a different aspect of "busyness". The first part deals with belief in yourself and accepting your own strengths and weaknesses. The second part shows how it is possible to delegate and distribute, clarifying that it is not vital to do everything without assistance. It also explains that things do not always need to be done a certain way; giving away some of the power actually increases your own! And the third part concentrates on wellbeing, whether mental, emotional, or physical. Being healthy means that our superwoman can achieve in different areas of her life with a much higher expectation of success.
I think this is a book that needs to be read in small chunks, and not necessarily in sequence. I read it right through in one sitting the first time, and found I was getting annoyed at the repetition of the key messages. However, when I put the book down periodically and reread it in sections rather than all in one go, I found the repeated messages acted as reinforcement for what I had read the last time. As a teaching technique, this can be highly effective - rather like a series that has a 90 second recap of what happened in the last episode before it rolls out the new one. And finally, I learned a new buzz word: imposter (as in imposter syndrome), or the belief that you are a fraud despite the many things that you have achieved. I need to think on that one!
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